It might feel like a lot of pressure right off the bat but setting up good habits
within your first year of marriage will give you a sturdy matrimonial foundation
for your happily ever after. Like any relationship, the first few years of marriage set the tone for your lives together. You may find yourself so entranced by newlywed bliss that you forget to focus on anything other than your spouse (hey, we don’t blame you – congrats you two!), but there are a few resolutions that you might want to consider, to help set the foundation for your first year married!

Finances

One of the main causes of tension in any marriage – money is the first thing you two will want to conquer within your first year, and by that we mean sorting it out. The two main things you can do to set your budgets up for success are:

  •  Pay off your loans (or a good chunk) before you buy that houseavie_austinwedding_ (20 of 21)
    • You don’t want to pile on more debt to your union, so take this first year to pay off some balances before making “adult” purchases. This way you don’t have to buy on borrowed money.
  • Learn budget techniques
    • While you might not want to think about it: can you trust your spouse and yourself with your finances? The answer to this question is easier to deal with in the present rather than 5 years into your future. One way to stop careless
      spending in its tracks is to speak to one another about it; while it can be uncomfortable, this conversation really helps in the long run.

Another quick suggestion:

Live on a budget for this first year – try living on $100 a month in spending money and see how far you two can stretch it. If this is too extreme for you, just open the conversation with your spouse about wiser ways to spend. (This means spending money for excess items such as clothes, gifts, and excess expenses.)

Budgeting will not only save you from unwanted stress, but you will have a great financial background for your future together!

Expectations & Boundaries

You two are a team and it is important to remember that especially in your own home. Figure out the expectations you have for one another.

In housework, for example, communicating who has bathroom duty and delegating tasks for one another should be laid out clearly – how often will you clean and when?

Additionally, another common source of stress in a marriage is in-laws. You love your parents and know how to interact with them, but remember your spouse is marrying into your family and may not necessarily know mom and dad’s love language like they know yours. Talk realistic terms, find what works, and recognize that it’ll take time to find the perfect balance with chores, parents, and boundaries.

Have a Support System

Your spouse is your rock. You lean on them when times are tough – and they will geti-XpPBm7H-X2 tough – and while you can take care of yourself, sometimes we all need someone else to lift us back up. While they may be your shoulder to cry on, having your partner and a group of people who you can confide in, trust, and care about you, is equally as important. Investing time in yourself and finding your friend groups (whether separate or shared) can help keep your relationship balanced.

Learn That Self-Care Is Not Selfish

Let’s face it, marriage can be tough. What does come easy? You can easily lose yourself in the relationship. You may be nurturing the needs of your spouse and family, but neglecting your own and while you may think it a bit selfish to take time for yourself, rid your mind of that thought! Taking time to “reset” yourself is needed and your marriage will be better if you two practice self-care.

Remember Romance

You’ve got the ring and you’ve said, “I do,” but that doesn’t mean that you have to stop dating one another. You don’t need to shower your partner with presents (remember that budget!), but don’t forget to have fun with one another – silence phones at dinner and have a nice night out, all dressed up for one another. It might be tempting, and easier, to stay at home in sweatpants and binge shows on the couch, but put in the effort to win your lover over again by trying new things together and keeping the romance alive!

Take It Easy

Pushing the conversations under the rug may be easier now, but does it truly help? If you start your marriage with open communication (and of course love) about the important and sometimes difficult aspects of it, your marriage will be set up for success.avie-event-planning-wedding-jillian-zeb-63

Remember that it is a balance and not every day will be a fifty-fifty commitment, nor will it be perfect, but the most important thing is to be conscious of the changes. Not every first year of marriage is the same for every couple and that is what is special about yours, so take these tips into consideration and start the conversation of constructing your own happily ever after, but remember – it’s a process and its yours.